LBJ and the Kinkster: "How hard could it be?"

Everyday, thousands of reporters, editors, and columnists around Texas, rise in the morning, drop to their knees, face Austin, and give thanks to their respective deities for the blessing of Kinky Friedman, gubernatorial candidate in our great state.

With a Republian governor who keeps his head down and no significant Democratic candidates in the arena, Kinky has transformed many a slow news day into, if not an event, at least a laugh.

Kinky by his own definition is a Jewish cowboy singer with a Palestinian campaign manager whose ideals come from Moses, Jesus, Martin Luther King, Gandi, and, as he once said, Gandi's barber. My staff is doing further research on Gandi's barber who, if you'll visualize Gandi for a moment, may have been unemployed a great deal of the time. But I take Kinky's reference to him as a nod to the poor and the downtrodden.

An independent candidate, Kinky is traveling around the state in his Yom Kippur Clipper, a Jewish Cadillac, that he says will stop on a dime ... and pick it up. The candidate Friedman says if elected he'll bring the ten commandments back to public schools but so as not to offend the atheists he'll call them the "ten suggestions." There will be a book someday, I'm sure, called "The Wit and Wisdom of Kinky." It will be long one.

Humor is important in politics. One of the best at enhancing or diffusing any situation with a joke was Lyndon Johnson, our 36th president. I used to work at his T.V. station in Austin and like all Johnson employees came away a few LBJ stories .

I remember one year at the annual staff Christmas party one of our radio executives was giving a windy tribute to himself and all the station had accomplished, apparently because of his efforst.

The president got up a few minutes later and told us a story about a situation that occurred in a small west Texas town a few years before.

Seems there had been a rash of puppies running all over town. City fathers got together and one said, "Where'd all the dogs come from?" Another said, "It's that bulldog down on the square. He's fathered all these new puppies."

And so the city fathers had the bulldog fixed and before long there were less puppies in town.

But a year or so later, here came more puppies. Again city officials met to discuss the problem and again came the question from one of them, "Where'd all the puppies come from?" The answer from another was, "It's that bulldog again"

"But I thought we had him fixed."

"Yeah, but he's been down on the square acting as a consultant."

Then LBJ turned to the radio executive who'd been patting himself on the back and said, "And if you'll remember, when we started out in radio, we relied a lot on consultants and still do."

Another LBJ story dealt with the passions politics stir and maybe a little hypocrisy. As the tale goes a state senator called a district judge and said the legistature was going to abolish a judicial district and the judge's had been picked. "Your court was the last one created, so it will be the one we have to drop."

"They can't do that," said the judge. "People would have to testify against me. Who'd do that?"

"Well," said the judge, "The head of the bar association in your area did."

"That sorry no good," said the judge. "He's nothing but an ambulance chasing shyster."

"And the mayor of your town did," said the senator.

"He's as crooked a ballot box-stuffing politician as there ever was," said the judge.

"And your banker did," said the senator.

"Banker, my foot," said the judge. "He's nothing but a loan shark wearing a coat and tie."

By then the senator was beside himself with laughter and said to the judge. "Relax, I was only kidding. Something came up about your court but I squashed it. Your court is safe."

The judge paused a moment, then said, "Now doggone it, how come you to go and trick me like that and make me say all those things about three of my dearest friends?"

LBJ was grass roots politician who started on the local level and worked his way up. The humor came as part of the package but was harder to come by as national and world events took there toll on the president.

Kinky Friedman is starting with the humor and will work his way down. The campaign is a lot of fun right now but there are a lot of demons waiting in the state capitol should he get elected. We can start with a legislature that is driven by special interests. How will a new governor get a handle on that?

Making jokes won't solve the state's problems but it may get voter's attention and if the electorate of the state chooses to get more involved that could create more accountability in Austin.

There's another old political saw that comes to mind: Five per cent of the people are running things, five per cent are watching them, and the other 80 per cent don't know or care what's going on - which may have led Kinky to utter his famous campaign slogan, "How hard couldit be?"

LBJ would have probably told him, "Plenty hard."

But I'm betting that the Kinkster regardless of how serious a candidate he is has brought a lot of that 80 per cent out of their doldrums and created some political awareness in Texas.

Music legend Ramblin' Jack Elliott visits the Ghost Town

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Criminal justice chair publishes articles

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Former AISD superintendent honored in Georgetown

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Nature Festival picked up by Big Bend Chamber of Commerce

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Presentation of collection to highlight Texas Map Society meeting

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First Sul Ross Triathlon attracts 85 entrants

Sul Ross State University News Writer

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LBJ and the Kinkster: "How hard could it be?"

Everyday, thousands of reporters, editors, and columnists around Texas, rise in the morning, drop to their knees, face Austin, and give thanks to their respective deities for the blessing of Kinky Friedman, gubernatorial candidate in our great state.